Quote:
Originally Posted by divine1966
Although I agree SOME people are this way, it seems that you often perceive people to be this way even if they aren’t. Like you thought people were flaky but really one was sick and the other was in a bad financial scam.
You also complain that they have issues, but you yourself described having very many issues in all aspects. It seems to be a huge double standard. I don’t think it’s fair. You’ll have hard time finding people with no issues and no obligations readily available for all these outings. It’s unrealistic expectation.
Plus they might be embarrassed to admit that these outings are pricey. I make a decent living but I’d be taken aback having to to these bars and restaurants and concerts on a regular basis and now staying in a beach town.
If they have several friends and all want expensive outings, it gets pricey. It’s hard to admit especially if they aren’t close friends. Sometimes you just met them and you already want frequent outings. And as we get older many people save or invest substantial amount for old age. Expectation of frequent pricey outings might be too much. I’d give it some thought
Honestly if I meet people I don’t like, I’d rather be alone. It’s stressful. You don’t like them yet you pursue them actively. Imagine you’ve met a man you didn’t like and who didn’t meet your standards. Would it make sense to demand he goes on dates with you? All while you don’t even like him? Would you say because you can’t meet a man you like, you’ll just date the one you don’t like? Makes no logical sense.
It’s the same with friends. You don’t like them. So what’s the point
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I see your point. I do try to be understanding & tolerant, but sometimes people push my paitience to the breaking point.
Example, talking excessively about themselves all the time. Maybe some of them are embarrassed to mention that they can’t afford to go out that much.
I don’t expect people to go to expensive places iften. Most of the places I choose are affordable. Example, the movie place I like to go to has $7.50 matinees. It’s $6 sometimes.
I don’t go to fancy 5 star restaurants. I have suggested going for walks or for frozen yogurt. I’m aware that most people I know don’t have much money to spend.
As for the beach trip, that was my friends idea. If she can’t afford to go out, then she should not even suggest such a thing.
I also expect people to go out with me every werk. I suggest getting together once every two to three weeks or once a month.
It seems like most people can go months with no contact though.
I don’t dislike my friends. I’m just frustrated & annoyed by some of their behavior like them being indirect, not giving me a yes or no answer to things at times, etc.
Am I expecting to much for wanting them to put in more of an effort to be reliable & respectful? I don’t demand that they hang out with me too btw. I don’t invite people out that often.
I just asked a few people to intiate plans more often as I felt like the friendship was one sided & I felt like I was bugging them by being the one intiating everything most of the time.
I have needs & I spoke up to get those needs met. It did work when I did that. Sometimes people are unaware of their behavior & how it affects other people