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Originally Posted by jesyka
She used to make more time for me. Idk for sure if she is being less available interested or not now. All I know is that after we talked on the phone, everything was fine again & we’re goimg to lunch this Friday. She suggested going to lunch more often as she works where I live.
It’s funny how she didn’t suggest this before. And we’re going to that concert. I’ll let her contact me first from now on mist of the time & see what happens. Maybe she really is busier than normal.
People do prioritize the friends & people they really care about. Maybe some don’t. Maybe even trying to make new friends as an adult is pointless if this is how adults view friendships, as something that’s not that important to them.
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Friendships are very important for many people. Friendships are very important for me, I have some very good girlfriends. But friendship is more than going out to concerts or restaurants, you can just have activity partners for that. You could be a good friend supporting your friends and being understanding of their needs and of them being busy or having issues and hardships. It’s more than just going out. It’s being there for people. It’s not being a good friend thinking of them as flaky or liars or selfish or people pleasers or disrespectful. If you feel this way about them, it doesn’t make you a good friend. It’s better to stop friendships like that
What I am trying to say that no matter how important friends are, most adults have jobs, household obligations, spouses, children, elderly parents, siblings etc etc they can’t possibly have outings with friends as a main priority. Just not a realistic expectation.
I am going to movies with two of my girlfriends this upcoming Sunday but after that I won’t be able to see them for quite a bit for ton of reasons-mostly work and family. Then it will slow down and I’ll see friends more. It doesn’t make me fake or a liar or not caring if I won’t see them for awhile
Two of my girlfriends aren’t married and have no kids and one has no family at all. But it doesn’t mean they have all this free time either. One is taking care of her elderly mom and her dog has been ill. The other one has ton of house projects and she helps her neighbor etc It’s good to have friends but your expectations of them are a little unusual. People have other things
No it’s not pointless to make friends. It’s just how you understand friendship and what it means to you and staying realistic of what others can do. If you have a lot of free time and just want someone to do things with, try social groups type of things.