So I have just taken the remains of an orchid in a pot to the compost cart. The orchid was given to me by my local relatives when they came to have dinner I cooked. It was in mid-June, less than 2 months ago. I did not enjoy the orchid and the responsibility for its care simply added to my list of responsibilities and I am already stretched thin. Due to my bipolar issues, probably, or for some other reasons, but I require a lot of sleep in order to function. Say, yesterday I went to sleep at 10:22 PM and this morning I woke up at 8:22 AM (without an alarm). That is 10 hours in bed. Out of that, according to Oura ring which is a pretty accurate sleep tracker, I sleep about 8 hours because I have low sleep efficiency. I have fewer waking hours available to me than most people and a few minutes to do this plus a few minutes to do that really adds up.

I have another plant, a bromeliad, which was gifted to me by my friend, also when she came to have lunch with me. I cooked the lunch. She had gifted me plants in the past. This bromeliad is not supposed to require frequent waterings and I think I have been giving it what it needed, but it is still completely faded now and looks horrible. It is not dead, though, which is why I have not yet taken it to the compost cart.

These people have the best intentions when they give me plants. They also apparently believe that when I spend time cooking for them, they are required to acknowledge and reciprocate with a gift. I personally do not feel that way. I love cooking for people and having them over. I live in a small 2-bedroom apartment, have a small dinner table and not a lot of dishes, so I cannot entertain large crowds (which is something I otherwise would have wanted to do), but I enjoy inviting one person or small groups.

I do have succulents and cacti next to my unit.

I tried having outdoor plants about 8-9 years ago but found out that the upkeep was too much for me; they all died. Succulents and cacti do well in my care. I think this is the most I am capable of, ensuring the succulents and cacti survive.

I want to write a letter and have it available as a draft, to send it next time both to these people who have already gifted me plants when they come visit me again and to my future guests as a preemptive measure so that I do not receive more houseplants.

I am OK telling them that if they feel they must bring a gift (and it is truly not necessary!), I would appreciate a cactus or a succulent which I will then lovingly tend to for years to come.

I hope someone can help start the draft for me. I am not that worried about writing preemptively to future guests, but about these people who have already brought gifts that were destined to quickly die.