I guess I just keep on living?

The first year was bad for number of reasons. To be honest my brother snd I couldn’t properly grieve. Our dad is a pain on a normal day but he went totally nuts after mom died and the first year was so bad dealing with him. There was also lots of issues with him when she was sick so it made everything terrible. And she was too young to die. Stupid cancer.

Sometimes it helps to think that my mom wouldn’t want us to mope around. She wasn’t a moper so she’d like to know that we are doing ok.

It gets better with time. But then things happen and I break down. When my grandson was born after initial happiness I started crying hysterically because I remembered my mom will never meet him. My daughter was the closest with her out of all grandkids. My mom would be so excited to see him.

Sorry for hijacking your post. Just no matter the circumstances of it we are just never ready to lose our moms. And it just comes and goes in waves