What I meant by 'no good will come of it' is that the person goes. My father left. Bobo stopped giving me the benefit of the doubt with respect to trusting my intentions and interpreting my words charitably. Mr Man... Decided I didn't mean as much to him as he meant to me and he wasn't prepared to wait 6 months for me. And of course I face up to this realization a few months before I'm off for 9 months and when it is uncertain whether we will ever see each other again...

Maybe that is the thing. It is a 'taking the power back' kind of thing. I had no control whatsoever over my Father's going. Bobo wanted (wants?) me to wait a year for him and I'm not prepared to do so. The main reason is that there is nothing whatsoever to prevent precisely this situation with him happening again. So there I have some degree of control, I suppose. Mr Man wanted to date other people instead of waiting six months for me - but he said he didn't think of it as us breaking up. I'm not prepared to wait for him in the sense of my being alright with that situation - and so I broke up with him. I am not prepared to be with him for 9 months and then for him to want to go back to dating other people and so things are over for us. My therapist isn't going anywhere... But I am. He isn't going to be leaving me (that isn't on the table - even though I fear it, of course). I'm going to be leaving him. It still hurts... But maybe it is a way for me to take the power back.

I guess the only good that can come of the situation is that I work through my feelings for him. Maybe it is safer to do that at a distance... My father was IRL... Bobo was internet only... Mr Man was intermittent... I don't think he handled the distance at all well... The breakup was via email... My t... Is intermittent... I tell him this by email. He will not see me cry over this. Maybe if I have experience having the power then I'll be better placed to take suitable risks with my heart IRL... Maybe...