I was diagnosed eight years ago and have had a couple of bouts of severe depression and hypo-mania. I'm struggling with acceptance of this illness. I think for me it is only possible to accept on a moment by moment basis. I wish I could make it all just go away, but that's not going to happen.
It sounds like you are doing a lot to help yourself - sometimes we do too much and don't give our minds and bodies the opportunity to digest the material. Maybe it's time for you to rest from trying to find a cure and just be with yourself and enjoy the moments of recovery.