Quote:
Originally Posted by Arbie
I think the most disturbing part of the dream was to have my mother automatically assume, without even hearing my side of things, that I was guilty.
In real life, the fact is that nothing I ever do will be good enough for my mother. Although she may say--even insist--that she's proud of me and loves me unconditionally, in reality she does not, has never, and never will.
I mean, I could single-handedly find a cure for cancer, and she'd only say, "That's nice, but you need to lose weight."
It's not the first dream I've had of being a teenager again and having her believe I've done something wrong when I haven't.
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((((Arbie))))
My family is so screwed up, too. I grew up with my nan and she'd say; "Why don't you BE Somebody?" Then, when you were feeling good about yourself, she'd say: "Who in the heck do you think you are?"
Terrible back-and-forth mixed messages... the best to do is to step away, imo.
Do you stand up to your mother? Given your dream and the history of injustice, I'd say you need to protect yourself.
There's a book called Toxic Parents that you can get from the library or used at abebooks.com... Also a book called The Gentle Art of Verbal Self-Defence.
I bring up the first book because it sounds like your mom is never going to admit she's wrong and apologize to you and that's something you'll need to grieve in order to find some sort of closure.
The dream really does make sense given what you've lived through and are still living through by the sounds of it.
I hope you feel better ...