Believe me i understand, and I'm not even willing to say I wouldn't do it just like you are if I was you. But from a vantage point of having gained a measure of distance from my worst ravagings of the disorder, I have to say, it's a dangerous thing you face.

As far as what the benefit could be, well that would be a doctor's ability to monitor you closely over a period of time to be able to more agressively seek out the thing that enables you to "begin" to live with this. That's an important word here, "begin." See, its still coming on for you, you aren't neccessarily "peaking" yet. Making the "start" is really hard under those conditions.

Most of us just have to start with more reliance on help, ie: hospital, drs, meds etc., than we might keep in place later on. But in the beginning, you don't even know what you're fighting.

But, CC, I'm not like gonna turn my back on ya or nothin. You sound real determined. That's good, cuz you're going to need to be.

TC and keep talking, K?