I did not go to the Wed night band last night. I stayed home. I learned through a friend that Jay brought the same female date with him again. My friend reported that she sat on the couch by herself bored during the second set.

Hmmm... I am so glad I didn't go. I didn't think about or consider going either. But this is what my friend reports back to me.

Clearly Jay could care less about this effecting me in any way. He is going to do whatever he wants to do, including bringing his new woman to this show that we used to hang out at together. It feels wrong somehow. Like it's being shoved in my face.

Please don't tell me I am wrong for feeling this way... I feel the way I feel, and there's nothing wrong with feeling a bit slighted by this. My father used to tell me I was wrong all the time for how I felt. I grew up to feel ashamed of all of emotions and as though I am constantly wrong. Still to this day, I feel shame over my emotions because of my father.