Quote:
Originally Posted by divine1966
I think you are misunderstanding what people are saying. The point isn’t that this is normal. It’s not a normal appropriate behavior at all but unfortunately it’s common for some performers to act this way.
What people are saying it’s not categorized as an assault. What people are saying that motives you assigned to his behavior have no basis in reality, there’s zero evidence of anything you assumed about this dude.
I don’t think anyone argues that this is scary. It’s beyond scary. It’s mortifying. Honestly I would be mortified to go to a club get drunk being called a prostitute go try to meet with a band then be right by the stage when dude acts like a jerk and then go look for him after all this. Yes it is scary. It’s dangerous. I am not timid or shy person but I’d be horrified in these circumstances.
So I don’t know why you think it wouldn’t be scary for others. Most women would be terrified to get into such circumstances. It’s dangerous
I think there is a huge contradiction in some things you are saying. You said we don’t understand that this is scary yet you are the one engaging in these dangerous behaviors getting into scary situations. So it seems that maybe YOU don’t understand that things you do are scary. We do understand that it’s scary.
You did not sound scared because even after that thing happened, you still went looking for him. You didn’t call taxi or someone to get you all terrified. You went to look for your assailant. if it was scary you’d stay far away, not going looking for him. You don’t seem to understand danger.
So I am not sure what’s this all about
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I understand what you’re telling me. I understand now that this was just part of the show. I made the wrong assumptions. I don’t have a lot of experience with men, so I don’t get some things as easily as some women do.
Sorry for the misunderstandings. You’re right, it was terrifying! At the time I was excited to be there, not scared. The liquid courage helped with that, lol. I think that I probably took extra valium on top of thst too.
Sadly, I would’ve never been able to go to a show alone sober as sober me is NOT that brave or tough! lol. I’d be shaking if I wasn’t intoxicated!
I did some crazy stuff that baffles me even. Clearly I didn’t think things through. I should’ve reported that rude roadie to a manager instead of flipping him off & being rude back.
And for trying to find him after the show, thank goodness I had the good sense to change my mind about that! He probably would’ve laughed in fave & called me crazy! I went home after that. I made sure thst no one was following me. I had my hand in my jacket with pepper spray in it.
I wanted to ask him why he did what he did & to offer me an apology, lol. Stupid, I know! I know better now finally! It may not seem like it, but it’s true. Aside from the Lyft incident which was recent, I haven’t had any major issues with anyone.
Never again! I froze during the show & afterwards too. Is there any way to get your body to not freeze up in extreme or scary situations? I had that happen to me before when I was in danger or felt like I was in danger before. It’s like I’m not able to be completely logical & rational when I’m very stressed out.
I think that some people can still respond to bad situations in a calm & rational way, but not me.
What Tish said after you is probably true. He assumed a lot about me. I probably did give him the wrong first impression, ugh.
My feelings regarding this is an assault or sexual harassment instead of something ‘normal’ still stands though.
Even if this incident wouldn’t be taken seriously by the police or the manager of the club, it was still
very triggering for me. Only women who have been assaulted can understand how I feel.