(((Jazmine))) - safe hugs if ok.
FIrst of all, there is a chance you might be bipolar. A traumatic past does contribute to that...
Can you go see a doctor or a therapist? Are you seeing one now? Please tell about this as soon as possible - it's important to recognize bipolar early so you can get the proper treatment.
Best of luck,
Katie
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花鳥風月
c'est tout ce que j'aime
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