I did some writing last night about the whole push/pull thing we talked about yet again. I meant it yesterday when I said it feels different now than it used to. I realized while writing that both parts have very good points now, and that's what makes this so hard!! It was kinda surreal driving there yesterday, I heard the one part very clearly thinking what are you doing, I don't want to go there again, and that's why initially I drove right past your road on purpose. But the opposing part was excited and saying just ignore her. This makes me feel like I'm crazy, I hope you know. The 'what are you doing' part just cynically said well maybe that's her game, dimwit.

Still, my heart refuses to believe that and sides with the excited part, which is why I overruled Ms Cynical and showed up. There, I've named them. Ms Cynical, and Pollyanna. Now I can sit down with them and have a little chit-chat. Or kick both of their a$$es , perhaps.

I joke, but have you any idea of just how much I hate this internal battle between them???!!?!?