I asked local Facebook friends for an hour's help tomorrow (help me clean my apt of fleas).

No one responded. And I waited an hour. No one.

So, I deactivated my Facebook.

Funny how my offline value has plummeted like the Federal National Mortgage Association stock.

It automatically activates in 7 days because I didn't delete it. I'm a chicken ****. I just want to know who will notice. Since no one local responded to my request for help (I gave both kittens a flea comb/Ivory dish soap bath tonight much to their dismay, poor babies). Then, I threw out their flea infested litter, threw out my throw rugs, threw out the kittens toys from their previous residence with the homeless couple (all of those toys are in the trash now), and threw out their previous carry on bag too.

I wiped down the bathroom where the litterbox was and am now doing about 6 loads of laundry. I plan to vacuum every day for the next month or two, and wipe down every surface I can think of.

I decided not to go the chemical route since both kittens have the Herpes virus from their mom (according to the vet they saw on Friday). I could have bought a plant based flea spray to spray my carpet, sofa, etc. but I have TERRIBLE ventilation in my 200 year old apartment. And, it doesn't help that there is a heat wave happening right now where I live. The dew point is as high as the kittens previous owners, if not higher.

So, while I wait for each load of laundry, I am vacuuming and cleaning and trying not to have a melt-down. The 4 month old kittens had 4 months of trauma already. I don't need to add to it with my immature response to being rejected socially by people I have long known don't really like me anyway.

Deactivating my FB just removes the buffer and forces me to deal with why I have allowed this to become my life.

None of the fleas etc. is the kitten's fault. I did find a closer vet (the low income vets are booked out 2 months so I'm screwed there). I have an appointment next Friday. The vet told me to give the kittens an ivory soap bath, vacuum and clean and get tested for ringworm if I show symptoms on my skin, which is treated with an antifungal cream since its a fungus on the skin. I don't know yet. I don't have flea bites yet either.

The vet thinks the kittens may have flea anemia so i have to rideshare every day this week to cover the cost of blood work. I was supposed to start a NEW temp to hire role with a local company and different temp agency. I asked for a delayed start and that was 'ok'ed by the company. It pays $2/less but its 3 days at home and 2 days onsite. It's customer service and tracking shipments, so like the saying goes, "it's easier to find a job when you have a job."

My goal is not to lose my mind. My goal is to stay calm. To treat the kittens, clean my apartment, do my laundry, drive rideshare to cover the cost of blood tests (I could buy OTC pills etc to give to the kittens that kill lice, ticks, parasites, worms, etc...and that may still be the route I go, when I speak to the vet on Friday).

I'm just sad that because of who I am, my FB "friends and family" dislike me as much as they do. I'm completely cut off from them all. I complain about them here as a smokescreen, knowing that I probably annoy the hell out of them and they have every right to shun me. Oh well. That's life as they say.

Back to laundry and cleaning.