My SS card is in a safety deposit box at a Wells Fargo bank branch. Jesyka's husband's SS card can easily be in a safety deposit box, too, and she would not even know about the existence/location of that box, much less have a key.

With retirement savings, yes, most definitely, @jesyka should know about them and how much money is in them. What you are suggesting @divine1966 would change the dynamic of the marriage, establish @jesyka's valid claim as an equal member of the couple union. Maybe the student therapist can help guide in doing that.