Thank you @divine1966. To add, after I posted last night, I tripped and fell and twisted my left ankle. I tried to use my credit card to get Lyft to the local ER near me and it was declined despite the fact that I have money in my account.

I am the embodiment of that adage known as Murphy's Law. I think my years of bad luck have earned me the right to rename it, "Mott's Law."

Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong. Me, in a nutshell. The road to Hell is paved with my attempts at life, like blocks of Mott sidewalk poetry depicting each issue that I've posted about here in PsychCentral.

So, I hobbled to my car this morning at 2 a.m. and drove myself surefooted to the ER. Three hours of waiting and one x-ray later; no fracture but a golf ball size fluid pocket on my left ankle from it twisting like Patrick Swayze in Dirty Dancing, when I tripped over myself inside my apt. Because you know, menopause has robbed me of my spatial coordination skills completely. I need a cane just to walk straight.

I left this morning at 5 a.m. with a pair of crutches, a foot brace instead of a foot boot, and a doctor's note that I forwarded to my recruiter to ask her to notify the client that I need a few days at home to elevate my foot.

Thank god for my downstairs neighbor and his girlfriend. They are my kittens official godparents too since they also have 2 cats. They gave me a walking can and bought my kittens another box of kitten food for me, which I gave them cash for.

You need to write a comic column in a magazine or be a stand up comedian. Or you could write a book in a memoir style. Some stories are just book worthy the way you described them. Personally I’d read it if you put them in a collection of stories. I am serious.

I'm going to take you up on that, @divine1966. I think either a blog or a column, or a collection of life essays that I will self-publish on Amazon or some place like that. I mean, I have to. The people of the world need to laugh.

Kind of like American humorist and author David Sedaris. I would love to be like him.