I have been having some pretty profound realizations. One, is that at least in recent years, I have been identifying foremost with men's inner pain and suffering that I pick up on. NOT with their interests, passions, hobbies, or really who they are as a person. I pick up on suffering, I identify with that level, and I run with it thinking there's a connection, when really it's just me being overly compassionate and misguided.

Another epiphany I've had is that I didn't TRULY enjoy my ex husband's company - not really. On weekends, he would drag me around in his car, running all his errands. It was not fun for me. Nor, was conversing with him in these long 4-5 hour long ordeals. We did not have fun, lively or interesting conversations from my perspective. He would talk incessantly about cars on the road because that's the subject he knows best. Then, inevitably, he would revert to talking about past music festivals, over and over and over again. He lived in the glory days of his past, and this subject came up repeatedly, as though those few festivals were all he had in his life that were awesome & fulfilling experiences.

I also couldn't relate to his stories about his upbringing, and to how his parents spoiled him rotten, catered to him, and coddled him. They bought him multiple fancy sports cars in high school. They financially supported him in going to all these concerts across the country. They supported him financially until he was 32 years old! I've been working since I was 16 years old! My parents NEVER bought me a car, a brand new car. I had to earn the money to buy them on my own. I've always supported myself financially as an adult. And, my life experiences go far beyond just music festivals.

He was boring and repetitive, in other words. He did not have much to offer me.

He would also concern himself with politics and subject matter that was beyond our control, such as the Ukraine war and aliens perhaps attacking our planet one day. He believed that the war in Ukraine would lead to world war 3 and that it meant it was the end of our life. He is preoccupied by aliens and by our gov't supposedly hiding pertinent alien information from the public.

These topics hold little interest for me. I do not concern myself with these things, with politics, or matters beyond my control. We would watch Ancient Aliens together, and while sometimes I found it kind of interesting, after years of this I grew bored.

We didn't really have a ton in common beyond our passion for the same music and seeing live music. He grew up very spoiled and very wealthy. I grew up privileged and comfortable, but not spoiled or wealthy. We both have private school education as kids growing up, but he never finished college and did not have a typical four-year college experience.

So, I need to stop identifying with people's pain and look at the whole person. That's a pretty major epiphany for me.