But that's my point... My therapy took place even when I was on holiday. ...I held it in mind. I held the fact this hours, days were there even when I wasnt. A lot of long term therapy is held in mind.

I'm no longer in therapy, if I were, I'd pay if the absence was down to me. Your Ts way of going anboutit is a different matter. Mine was nothing but gentleness and clear eplaination. Though in my first year I did feel resentful until it became clear to me on a knowing level what the paiying was really about....