Had ANOTHER dream about a student getting gravely injured under my watch. Good lord I hope when the new school year starts these dreams stop! I think they will once I get back in the swing of things.

CR and RS both went on the fishing trip on Saturday. CR ended up with the winning fish and won $190! He promptly bought himself some AirPods. I refused to get them for him because I do not think he’s responsible enough for something so expensive (he’s had a lot of trouble with his iPad!) but if he wants to buy them himself, no problem. I did pay for the protection plan. It was $30 which is worth it bc they replace them if they get broken somehow.

I’ve fallen off the wagon as it were with my diet and gained 2lbs. But today I recommitted to my goal and had a smoothie for breakfast. Planning on the rest of my broccoli for lunch. Yesterday we cooked up the fish CR caught for dinner. We don’t usually eat fish because RS doesn’t like it but as he pointed out, he’s a big boy and can get himself dinner so I made it for CR and I. Flounder, a nice mild whitefish. Did some garlic lemon butter and dill. Probably the healthiest thing I’ve eaten in days. Oh well, stumbles are to be expected.

I stayed on track with exercise though. Today it’s hot, too hot for a walk so I will be going to the gym after lunch.

I laid in bed until 10:45 today! It’s an attempt to combat the boredom of the day, not like I don’t have anything to do. Must do some picking up around here. And I’m almost done with Harry Potter again.

Im having random self harm urges today, again because of boredom and I also feel bad about myself because of the weight gain. It’s just a habit ingrained into my mind after 20 some odd years of it being my go-to coping skill. I don’t suppose it’ll ever go away, no matter how far I manage to get from it. Oh well, it’s my own fault. Im hoping one day to get tattoos to cover the scars on my thighs. It will be quite expensive though so that’s not for a good while.