I think the most helpful thing that can come out of this thread for you @jesyka is noticing your reactions, which are happening in the here and now and not in 2000 while under the influence, right here to us on the thread. For instance, you thought that people considered you a slut and a groupie. You thought that someone called you delusional. Yet, these things did not happen. So this is how you imagination works and then you believe that other people treat you very badly. I believe this explains many of your posts. Not only do you think that in 2000 the rock star was vengeful, and he most likely wasn't but you cannot ask him, but right now you thought that you were considered delusional and a slut. And here on the thread you can verify whether what you believe is true. You can go up the thread and see if you can find written evidence. You can ask people whether they indeed believe what you are ascribing and attributing to them. You can reality check, right here. And hopefully this will lead to some learnings which you can then apply IRL.