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Originally Posted by Discombobulated
Oh yes very much. I think I may actually have become more like this as I age. Even in a shop I won’t like to bother the assistant because they’re busy, yet I work in a shop myself and help customers all the time as part of my job.
I think on some level I’m scared of intruding upon others and possibly being rejected. Recently my sister said I was turning the conversation to myself and that hurt me and made me worry about this more. I guess essentially I’m doing that here in sharing my own experience, turning conversation back to myself!
I wish I had something more illuminating or helpful to say but I’m sorry that you’re feeling this too. Yes the exchange idea sounds a good one, I think that’s the basis of healthy interaction.
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You can’t guess how much I understand you.
My attitude is kind of being sorry or apologising when I have to order something. In shops, at the offices…by phone I even low my voice and I give this submissive pitch.
I didn’t notice it before but now, I’m pretty aware so that allowed me to change this attitude for a more confident one and friendly. I know polite is enough but I still go beyond that, friendly.
It took me an effort at the beginning. Now, it’s more natural.
😂 I remember when my psychologist and I held our hands. Straight away, she drew the attention to how weakly I help her hand.
Why do you think in your case asking for help is even harder as you age than before?