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Old Aug 24, 2023, 06:39 AM
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AzulOscuro AzulOscuro is offline
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Member Since: Nov 2014
Location: Spain ( the land of flowers and gladness, lol!)
Posts: 3,837
Quote:
Originally Posted by Discombobulated View Post
Oh yes very much. I think I may actually have become more like this as I age. Even in a shop I won’t like to bother the assistant because they’re busy, yet I work in a shop myself and help customers all the time as part of my job.

I think on some level I’m scared of intruding upon others and possibly being rejected. Recently my sister said I was turning the conversation to myself and that hurt me and made me worry about this more. I guess essentially I’m doing that here in sharing my own experience, turning conversation back to myself!

I wish I had something more illuminating or helpful to say but I’m sorry that you’re feeling this too. Yes the exchange idea sounds a good one, I think that’s the basis of healthy interaction.
You can’t guess how much I understand you.
My attitude is kind of being sorry or apologising when I have to order something. In shops, at the offices…by phone I even low my voice and I give this submissive pitch.
I didn’t notice it before but now, I’m pretty aware so that allowed me to change this attitude for a more confident one and friendly. I know polite is enough but I still go beyond that, friendly.
It took me an effort at the beginning. Now, it’s more natural.

😂 I remember when my psychologist and I held our hands. Straight away, she drew the attention to how weakly I help her hand.

Why do you think in your case asking for help is even harder as you age than before?
__________________
Social Anxiety and Depression. Cluster C traits.
Trying to improve my English. My apologies for errors and mistakes in advance.

Mankind is complex: Make deserts blossom and lakes die. ( GIL SCOTT-HERSON)
Thanks for this!
Discombobulated