Good morning. The biggest issue that jumps out to me is you haven't rendered a final decision on this , which is impacting your ability to fully trust him. Going through his emails only underscores that distrust. Add to that your statement about "setting boundaries " with your current child tells me you're not comfortable with his ability to learn from the past and do so without guidance or supervision. So on the surface, you're showing a supportive stance, but underneath you're positioning yourself more in the mode of "just in case", which he will catch when he see's those efforts to overprotect.

So the more you keep this in and unresolved, the more it will manifest itself into full blown resentment. Why? Because doubt represents a burden you carry alone, which will poison the well of how you see him. It will also seep into disagreements you have down the road should something entirely different arise. Emotional burdens create stress and when that valve opens it all comes out. So you need to address this and put it to bed if you are to move forward. How do you do that? Ask yourself some very hard but direct questions:

* Is there anything in his current behavior or recent past that has any connective tissue to this event? In other words are there any habits that raise red flags or is this event isolated and a complete anomaly to who you know him to be in all facets of life?

* How much do you know about how he was raised? Its completely conceivable he had parents that took baths or showers with him when he was very young, so he gave no consideration to there being an appropriateness to the action since it fell within the framework of his life experience. Plus he was just starting out as a new parent himself, so he was guided by only what he knew (as we all do).

If you can paint a clear picture from these questions, then you really have your answer. Behavior, especially deviant kinds, tend to be habitual in nature. So unless you have red flags prompting you to see a pattern somewhere, then I think its fair (and very safe) to say this event does not represent his true character. I'm sure having Child Protective Services investigate him was humiliating and traumatizing, so he really needs someone who believes in him. Remember its EASY to accuse someone of doing something heinous, without any evidence. But because someone makes an accusation doesn't mean its true just because it sounds bad. If you know the accuser to be of bad character (while his is not), then the guilt likely resides on her side. I would come to a resolution on this and put it to bed. Trust must be absolute or you have none at all. Let go of his past as an innocent and honest action and forgive yourself for having to question it. Move forward so the two of you can have a future.