You didn't ask to have zoophilia. It is something that happened to you. I think you are doing the best you can. Who could ask for more?

We don't really choose our afflictions. They befall us and we deal with them the best we can given everything influencing us. Wish I knew what to say to help.

Beating oneself up over things is not really helpful. Often it is the afflictions that burden us and that we carry with a heavy heart, the ones we endure: those are what reveals the heroic side of our nature, the part of us that transcends our afflictions.

I have never been overly impressed by those who do once-in-a-lifetime acts of heroism that makes the news. I think of people like you as the real heroes of life.