Wow! I could have written this. My experience exactly.

When I reached the place where I truly found my autonomy and authenticity and confidence, I also found I was able to validate myself to a great degree. And that was when I found therapy just no longer needed.

I’ve become very mindful of my thoughts and emotions—less judgmental of myself, less questioning of myself. I don’t have that urgency to “fix” me or run from my experience. I have gone through four great familial deaths in the last decade, the most difficult that of my husband to Covid. In reading through forums for survivors of Covid deaths, I see so many struggling with this horrific grief (Covid grief is weighted with so much baggage). I notice that those managing it a bit healthier seem to be those who are able to self-validate, to simply (it’s not simple though) sit mindfully in grief without trying to run from their it or fix it or apply blame for it (real or perceived). So many are want everyone to validate their feelings, but in the aftermath of Covid, the politics, the social taboos, the media, the conspiracy theorists all compound that inability to find outward validation, and the sound of grief stays open and raw.

I’m doing relatively okay because, as I have experienced it, my ability to respectfully and mindfully validate my own grief journey has been healing. And I surround myself with people who are kind, supportive, and validating simply through being who they are. I don’t waste time or emotional energy on people who counter my experience. They aren’t going to change.