Hope your weekend was good

And also hope you are hanging in there okay.

Mine has also more or less stalled out as far as any meaningful change, but that's okay in some senses. As long as his behavior is relatively predictable, it allows the time and space to work on myself, you know? If he's causing drama and chaos, it can be a little harder to focus on my own needs and growth.

Do you have any idea what the counselor might have as a idea for your dh to do physically? Do you think she had any idea at the time she said it, or has to figure that out since his resistance seems to stump her too? Is the physical activity something to do in attept to combat the depression? I'm interested to hear what she thinks he should do, and if he'll actually do it.

You're right about the resistance and that it may be more work to be assinine than to do something productive. What do they get out of it? It's a very needy mindset, isn't it? All the more reason to not coddle their issues, lest they get too much positive feedback for being that way.

You've mentioned how he feels his parents didn't allow him to become the person he should have been- out of curiosity, what is his relationship with them like at this point? You may have said before, sorry if you did and I'm not recalling.

It may have been said already, but my DH's family is VERY unhealthily enmeshed. In recent years, as his problems have gotten worse, it seems like he's re-engaged with his family on their old level that he was used to. On one hand, he's very critical about a lot of things they do and how it affected his life, and on the other hand it's like he's much more comfortable with the old dysfunctional patterns, versus having healthier relationships/boundaries in this house with me and DD.

Then again, tbh, even in better times, he was never the kind of person who was introspective or might think in terms of self growth. Not seeming to evolve into more mature life stages can seem kind of sad.

It's somewhat the same around here when school starts. It's almost like having the routine of school and work and other seasonal obligations doesn't leave as much room for the drama and other problems to take hold. Being busy can be very good at times. Sometimes it seems like he won't start something, because he knows he won't have the opportunity to drag it on

Hope it's a good week for you!