My Support Forums - View Single Post - I relax myself by escaping reality, but is that a solution to my problems?

CANDC · Aug 29, 2023, 10:51 AM

Hi @toomuchinmind welcome to MSF. I am glad you are so persistent in caring for your family. That is a wonderful trait that exceeds by far having a greater salary.

Just to let you know there are no experts here to give you advice. We are a community of peers that support each other and try to speak from our own experience. No one knows you as well as you do, but that being said I will share a few observations.

There are studies done that show that once the basic needs of a person are fulfilled, more money does not equate to more happiness. It can in fact lead to more problems and stress.

Comparing ourselves to others is almost certain to cause us to have lower self esteem.

In my experience my dad worked 7 days a week but did take some time off for fun on weekends. He was a great provider of nice things and I am grateful for what he offered me for so long. I often wondered what my dad would have done if he did not work so much. I could have got by for less if it meant my dad and I could have played more.

If you have enough to sustain life, what do you gain by working more? I do not suggest you quit your job, but can you adjust your expectation of what success looks like. One descriiption of success is someone that spends time with their family. What other kinds of success could you have besides material? Could you support a homeless shelter by volunteering a few hours per week. Volunteering is a way that I have built up my self esteem.

Life is not defined by what others expect of us or how we expect to be like others. Life is how I live today.

Mindfulness is a way to begin to appreciate life in this moment without judgment. If interested try youtube and search for Jon Kabat Zinn and or Padraig O'Morain. They both talk about many things that may help you to answer the questions you posed.