It sounds like your husband gets very frustrated when you get emotional. He makes those statements because he really is at a loss in how to help you.

I struggle with ptsd myself so I know how emotional triggers can take over and the strong desire to put it into words. Also to have a presence that is able to use comforting validating words.

My husband has ADHD and like many of his piers he was never diagnosed. We are both in our sixties. I have had to learn to understand that my husband is not able to take in long conversations. To determine he is an abuser or bad is just as bad as blaming me for having ptsd. Men with ADHD often have a history of being punished for having ADHD instead of helped.