Hi guys,

Just a check in from me...

1. I eventually got a hold of an organisation who are willing to help me out. I'm going back on 5th Sept for a get to know me session then I should start there the week after

2. I'm back seeing my counsellor she's been off for some time due to an injury in July I think. Still fortnightly but hey better than nothing

3. Still feeling up and down... quite happy but very emotional

4. Had a meltdown the other day cause in my notes on my phone I have tick boxes and they were gone. Honestly blown out of proportion. But I cried and cried and cried this was infront of my sister. Who was shocked at my reaction.

5. Can't stop thinking about what is in my psychiatric medical notes from Psychologist in 2016 she wrote I have Avoidant Personality Disorder but no diagnosis of this to date and I only found out about this in May this year. I just can't believe it

6. End of July this year I was diagnosed with Type 2 Diabetes. I'm do far just to manage on exercise and diet but I'm worried sick this is all my own fault. I'm to go to the hospital for an eye check in Sept and I'm seeing a nurse every few weeks to check in. Being referred to a Dietician at some point and an activities thing in my city

7. Still sleeping for Scotland just exhausted

8. Still muchly grieving for my Mum 2 years have past but I cry a lot regarding this.

9. Songs are making me cry (Tears In Heaven by Eric Clapton and ironically Frozen's Do You Want To Build A Snowman) I love listening to musicals on Spotify but have to skip this song or I'm crying like a baby

10. No friends I've lost a few to general life but I've lost the one who kinda understood my struggles with mental health. She has been AWAL since April really. Just feeling exhausted having to always have to deal with her tantrums and drama. She too has mental health issues (BPD) but it's getting ridiculous now

11. Been kinda self harming

Overall I'm doing fine but equally I'm struggling. I'm struggling daily with anxiety and depression mixed with general happiness. I've been having night terrors again too which are a delight to deal with.

Hope your all OK and sorry if this post is long