Quote:
Originally Posted by ArtieTheSequal
I'm waiting for the freezer repair dude to get here, I'm off work today, my intention was to spend a few hours writing using some of the prompts in the tarot for writers book, but I'm coming up blank. So frustrating. I don't want to write sad I miss you I miss us stuff. Mainly because I'm the one who left so I don't deserve to, especially knowing that other people don't have the option to come back because their t's unfairly and horribly rudely left them. I have no right to feel sad!! None! All it would take is a phone call and I could be back seeing you weekly and I know this. But damn it, I just can't do it. Maybe I should just let myself write the sad ********. Get it out of my system. Maybe find some clearer answers as to why I can't make that phone call. In the mean time I'm going to go weave in the ends of my latest afghan so I can get it in the mail to my sister, and then be ready to start my next project.
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Sorry to butt in Artie, but just because someone else is going through something does not take away from what you're going through. Pain at the end of the day is STILL pain. You worked with L for over 9 years. It would be
odd if there was no grief at your end even if you did end things.
Maybe you do need to write the the "I miss you" stuff because you do miss her. You're denying what you feel. You have every right to be sad and to feel the way you do.
My favourite Niles quote is :
"The first step to healing is not to bury the pain, but to feel it in it's fullest depths".
Facing things and healing is not the pretty instagram version. It's full of tears and pain. There's often no words for that. If you can't write paint. Draw. Take photographs. Play with modelling clay. Walk. Sit outside on a bench for a bit. You don't have to do everything at once.