those pills hid away so much. the pain was much more dull, but so was i. my personality and who i actually am was dimming into nothingness. slowly, i'm feeling myself come back again.

it took almost losing myself and the one i love to see the damage i was causing, just to be numb. sometimes i feel being numb is the only way to make it through, but i must remember i'm more resilient than that.

i'm in control. i'm not a kid being forced into this choice anymore. i'm free. it is my choice. my choice is to feel and do it sober. my light will continue to get brighter, no more darkness.