Your boss's comments sound frustrating and to be honest, intrusive. If you weren't informed of any kind of policy at the interview or any other time about being besties at work (and outside of work, lol, her comment to you about you not commenting on a coworker's pictures in ridiculous), then it's not required and she needs to lay off. It seems like she is pressuring you to be a certain type of person. This is uncool. She honestly has probably no idea she's being rude and inappropriate, but it's still not ok with you, and that's what matters. That being said, you're right you need tools to deal with this. I personally don't think you need to say anything about diagnosis, but you are absolutely in your right, and it could also help, to set a boundary with her in a civil way and / or explain to her that being social in this way outside of work is not something that you are made for. I wouldn't say to her "it doesn't interest me," even though it doesn't. Because it will make you sound rude yourself. JMO. You could say something like "I'm not comfortable interacting in the way you are telling me you want me to interact." You could also come from a place of curiosity. "I noticed that you've mentioned these things to me about interacting more with my coworkers. Why?" Just be prepared for what you think she might say. If she says "I'm just trying to help," you could say "thanks, but I don't need / or want help in that way."


Looking at her comments, she does sound like an extrovert, and one who is well meaning and it's coming across as patronizing. I'm annoyed for you.


You asked for coping tools. Is there something you have in mind? Do you mean communication tools? or other emotional coping tools?