September is an interesting month for me emotionally. One of the reasons is because, two years ago, I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. Starting meds was quite the ride because my old psychiatrist would make multiple med changes at the same time so we never knew what was helping and what was causing side effects. Thankfully, my current psychiatrist is much better. and only changes one thing at a time. He has gotten me much closer to stability than my last psych. Even still, I haven't been able to discover a med plan that lasts longer than a few months (fingers crossed this current mix I'm on will be the one!). I'll be honest, I've lost pretty much all hope that I will ever reach the "bored with my emotions" state my psychiatrist is trying to help me get to.

I'm grateful for all of the internet resources out there because no one ever sat me down to let me know how my life might change and what lifestyle changes would be helpful.

I'm finally ready to admit I might have been experiencing some serious psychosis before being diagnosed (yet was functioning somehow?). The backstory is complicated, but I think it's time to finally mention this to my counselor and psychiatrist (I was afraid to when I first started seeing each of them because I was afraid of being labeled "crazy"). TBD how that goes (I see my counselor on Monday but don't see my psych until October). I'll want to fill my boyfriend in on these conversations once I get to talk to my psych. The whole bipolar thing is a major concern for him if we would ever get married so I imagine that will be a tough conversation. He's responded well to conversations about my mental health so far so I have a lot of hope he will again-but I'm still pretty nervous.

@Nammu You mentioning "Roll out the Barrel" brought back a fun memory from when I was a child. The small town my mom (and her many siblings) grew up in has a music fest every summer. I don't know if they still do this, but they used to have live polka music at it and this song would be played. I never learned to polka, but hearing that song always brings a smile to my face because one of my favorite things to do was go visit those family members (I did not grow up near them).