August 6th is the national sister’s day. I usually end up spending the day thinking about the things that my sister did to me. Not only she used to beat the daylight out of me regularly until I was in late teens, she bullied me constantly that I was in a command mode around her. I knew she would beat me up after coming home from school and I was in a constant state of fear around her.

The more upsetting thing was the reaction of other people who thought it was very funny to have a 5 5’ girl beating up a 5 7’ guy. My parents were embarrassed by me and blamed me for not being able to stand up to her and would encourage me to “be a man” and stand up to her, which would result in more beatings. In high school, teachers had noticed my bruises and found out she was beating me up but didn’t want to do anything about their ace student who was their top girl soccer player and champion in girls’ rugby and I was not good at anything. The principal even told me I should be more like her not appreciating that I was always in state of fear .

I always wondered why I didn’t have a sister who was more like other sisters. Many brothers and sisters get along and they become friends min adulthood, but I am still in a state of fear around her and get anxiety to think about her. Therapy has helped but hasn’t eliminated my issues.

I know some of you have heard my stories before but I needed to express myself in a safe environment.