First of all, I have to add an starting point. All my life was framed on my problem with social anxiety and feelings of inadequacy.

I always craved to have a group of people where I was one more between them. Not only to share activities, for me is more important to find a connection based of mutual respect and commitment.
I never experienced it, neither with my own family.
I never have it because I distance myself because of my insecurity and because I see them more mature, more fun, better than me. I felt as an outcast and I acted in consequence.

My attitude from the get go is not the best, to be honest because I’m convinced that I will fail.

It would be such a step forward for me. I’m 51
them it’s the fact that whenever I have a relation with someone, even with a female (I’m hetero) my partner gets jealousy for a possible romantic relation with the person I establish a relation. It’s something in his head and I get shocked each time he makes a commentary in this sense.

What can I do? I’m afraid of not fitting in but this fear shouldn’t stuck me to try it.
What can I do to do the first step to do this?

Any questions I’m open to reply.

I’m scared with this possibility but I’d like it.