Quote:
Originally Posted by AppleLime
Thank you so kindly for reading my very long message. I really appreciate it thank you. 
It's nice to know someone out there as you express have experience the same thing sending long messages. I always felt it was just me and no one else so thank you for sharing that.
Yeah I agree I was over thinking about about the drink and the car park.
The only thing that bothers me is that friend keeps kinda I don't know the word for it. Debating me if I have a different opinion say for example the reptilian when I was joking and how some CEOs can be on the borderline psychopathic. Also another time when she said to me my mother isn't empowered after I said how my mum had to bring myself and sister up, work and clean the house. And became librarian manager. That really hurt me. I told my therapist about this and she thought it was odd of my friend to say this. And said it was empowering of my mother because as a single mother you have to balance everything.
So now I feel say if I go and hang with them if I say anything that's different view than my female friend. She just gonna debate at me and make me question myself. Which I feel walking on eggs shells really, because I worry anything I say might set her off.
That's what been really bothering me. I'm not sure what to make of it or make sense of emotions. I know I'm hurt and angry at her but I haven't expressed it to her.
I sometimes question myself and think am I over thinking this?
Oh by the way it's a bit random but thank you for being kind and non judgmental to me. I read some of the message Shere and I found I was abit judge and people seem to be caught up with the story than what is going on inbetween the lines. So thank you for your kindness. |
Sounds difficult to have someone debate you all the time. Actually, I know a bit about this, but it's family, so it's a little harder to get away from them. Also, it's not their whole personality, so it's something I can live with...well, live in separate homes, anyway. lol
Uh, but yeah, I mean, if these are your friends, they shouldn't be making you feel like this. (does not seem like you're overthinking). You have two choices; confront them (or her, in this case) about how it's not good for you that she keeps debating you
or you can agree to disagree. Let her express her opinions, but don't let her make you feel obligated to change yours. You have yours for a reason. It's ok. If she makes a point that you hadn't considered before and you change yours then, then it's ok. Otherwise, be strong in your beliefs.
Worst case is that she either won't change and you'll have to rethink whether the relationship is good or not for you, or you'll get bored of her always disagreeing with you (even if you're strong) and you'll want to get a better friend. Either way is ok. Frankly, it sounds like you might want a better friend, but maybe there's more you're not telling us as to why you want to hold onto the relationship so much. Like Tisha said, feel free to share more details. And what Ascuro asked about whether your friend does this to everyone or just you.
Best wishes!