I don’t believe most people looking for sex after divorce. Some might of course. But many men (anbd women) especially getting older don’t do casual sex at all. Not in their 50s. Not the thing.

It’s considered to be a very unhealthy way of coping because when you are vulnerable, you attract unhealthy people or even worse: predators and when you are vulnerable, you develop attachment to these people and then you are in pain because they don’t reciprocate, then you need a new man (or woman) to remedy pain. If this strategy was helping it would be great but it just doesn’t.

I don’t think anyone here object to you having fun even if it means going for these unavailable low effort men. But it doesn’t make you happy and content. It brings you more pain. Like now you saw Jay with his new woman and it upsets you but who needs to be upset over these “no effort” men? They are not worth it. You say you just want fun, but then you inevitably want more but they don’t give it to you. Then pain comes. It sounds quite miserable

You absolutely do not need to sit home alone or be bored. It doesn’t need to be all or nothing. Sit home alone or go for unavailable men. There are other things out there. A lot.