The last thing I wanted after my divorce was sex. I wanted PEACE, which meant not even dating.

I can't address your need to "have fun" because I can't relate to it. After that much drama with men, I can't even imagine wanting to deal with another one again for a while.

Not "having a man" doesn't mean you're home alone doing nothing. What we're trying to get at here is DATING, not these overnight trips with men where they're pretty much guaranteed to have sex with you. Dinner in your local area a few times so you can get to know someone. (That's not at home and that's not "boring"). Then invite them to your house, have sex. MAYBE breakfast. SEND THEM HOME DIRECTLY AFTER BECAUSE YOU HAVE THINGS TO DO.

You go on these pseudo-dates with men, sleep with them and although you tell them you're just wanting to have fun, in your head you start assessing whether they are suitable for a long-term relationship. Jay is a perfect example. He told you what he was in the beginning but you began to imagine what his potential is long-term. You spent a lot of time thinking about him and unhappy because he was not communicating with you the way you wanted. Even though it was only 7 weeks, you were still disappointed because although he told you who he was, you didn't believe he was that shallow and continued to imagine him as being a faithful partner for you.

Your ex-husband repeatedly showed you how nasty and petty he could be, but you kept reminiscing about how loving and wonderful he was (the few times he needed things) and would be all wrapped up in that.

You seem to be all-in whenever a man presents interest, whether he's available for a relationship or not. You tell them you just want to have fun and keep it light and that's not true. You want a serious relationship but you won't break that conversation out until you've seen them a couple of times. That's not honest.

You should lay it right on them - I want to have a serious relationship NOW. That will probably mean you won't have the amount of "fun" sex you're looking for because the people who just want sex will run in the other direction.