Quote:
Originally Posted by AzulOscuro
First of all, I have to add an starting point. All my life was framed on my problem with social anxiety and feelings of inadequacy.
I always craved to have a group of people where I was one more between them. Not only to share activities, for me is more important to find a connection based of mutual respect and commitment.
I never experienced it, neither with my own family.
I never have it because I distance myself because of my insecurity and because I see them more mature, more fun, better than me. I felt as an outcast and I acted in consequence.
My attitude from the get go is not the best, to be honest because I’m convinced that I will fail.
It would be such a step forward for me. I’m 51
them it’s the fact that whenever I have a relation with someone, even with a female (I’m hetero) my partner gets jealousy for a possible romantic relation with the person I establish a relation. It’s something in his head and I get shocked each time he makes a commentary in this sense.
What can I do? I’m afraid of not fitting in but this fear shouldn’t stuck me to try it.
What can I do to do the first step to do this?
Any questions I’m open to reply.
I’m scared with this possibility but I’d like it.
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I have social anxiety too. And I’m introverted as well. I have never ever fit into any group & I’m 51 years old. I hate groups too. I always get ignored in them for some reason.
Have you tried joining meetup.com? You seem like a nice person. Maybe try meeting people one on one first to make things easier then socialize with them in a group. I think it’d be better to get to know people outside of a group first.
People tend to act differently in groups. And most people tend to pay the most attention to the extroverted people in the group.
Try socializing with a group with a trusted friend to make things less awkward. Have someone introduce you to other people.
Trying to introduce yourself to strangers in a group by yourself is like trying to kearn how to swim by jumping in the deep end of the pool when you don’t know hiw to really swim, lol.
So take baby steps & always have someone thete with you or like I said, get to know people well in the group first.
It’d help to come to certain events like a party early before everyone starts to separate into grouos too.
If I were you, I’d focus on trying to form deeper one on one friendships. If you’re looking for activity friends, tgen try meetup.com. It.s free to join. Maybe try joining an activity focused group like hiking or a gaming group so the focus is on thst more than trying to make small talk.
As for your s.o, why would he be jealous of you making friends with other women? Let him know that you’d still make time gor him too. Spend more quality time with him to show him that he has nothing to worry about.
I hooe that this helped you out a little bit.