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I get that you are bored and unhappy but this isn’t the way to go. Do check into department of vocational rehabilitation and see if they can help you with getting a job that fits you. You need to be doing something productive to keep you from harm.
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Nammu
…Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. …...
Desiderata Max Ehrmann
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