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Originally Posted by eskielover
I never had a group of friends though I was very active in school growing up. I was kinda the person on outside of groups that was involved in many but not really a part of them & was accepted by all. Got married & my now ex-H was clueless about friends or relationships. I did my own thing social wise with guys at work like my racquetball group & my ballroom dance group & my classocal music performing friends. I was too independent for connecting to a group because my interests are too diverse.
I moved to my farm & got involved with the local horse group & we formed a sub group of women off that. I connected with a church group & we do much social along with church activities but again, my interests are so diverse & work around my farm is demanding so one group of friends just still isn't me because I have so many interests & activities I enjoy when I have time. I do enjoy having the church group to go out to eat with, to go to movies with & to socialize with outside church & Bible study. Groups for me are all around my intetests & activities & I am 70
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It’s hard to believe but even when I never belong to a group and I miss that possibility, I’m at the same time pretty much an independent person. I guess it’s because I’m used to it. Very different to your case.
Up this point in my life it’s more like a challenge. To see myself if I can fit in now that I’m more confident than before.
Past experiences didn’t work and I think it was more because of my psychological issues. I was always worried because of my anxiety and insecurities. I wasn’t even able to eat in public. This is how bad it was.
And when I had the chance to participate in a group (at work, one friend’s group or something like that) even when I saw they admitted myself, the more we interact, the more I tried to avoid and began to ask myself questions about being able to be once more.
People normally appreciate me and I don’t have anything bad to tell about them. The problem is or I want to think, was. The closer, the more I pushed away.