Hubby and I had some progress.

I work part-time second shift. The recurring pattern:
1. Every day that I am scheduled to work, I set an alarm for 12:30 so I can be at work by 2:30.
2. Usually, but not always, my husband will wake me up shortly before my alarm would have gone off.
3. He will then say he "didn't know" I had the alarm set, or what time I had it set for, even though I tell him EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.

I ended up having to call in today anyway, because I'm fighting a migraine that's been going on since yesterday. But here's what happened.

Today is Saturday. I would have worked, but he's off. He came into the bedroom to wake me up at exactly 12:26. I pointed out that he'd done it again, I had my alarm set for 12:30, just like I do every day that I am scheduled. He asked, am I mad at him? I answered, I'm frustrated. "Goodbye," he said abruptly, turning around to leave the room. Remember, any time I show even the slightest degree of an unpleasant emotion, he shuts down the conversation and flees.

But today I managed to get him to listen. "Please hear me out. I will speak rationally." He stopped. I said, "Every day I'm supposed to work, I always set an alarm for 12:30. Every time you wake me up, you tell me you didn't know, even though I told you last time. I don't understand. It doesn't make sense."

It turned out, at least for today, he had a defense. He'd been on Facebook. For some weird reason neither of us knows, there was a little blue dot next to my name, which gave him the impression I was awake and on Facebook myself, even though I was neither. When he tried to show me, the little blue dot wasn't there anymore, but he's sure it was before. And I believe him, because no matter how many other annoying things he may do, he doesn't lie to me. So, thinking I was awake already, he came into the bedroom. And was confused to find me sleeping (until the loud squeaky door hinge woke me up) and not on Facebook.

Now he knows that just because he sees a blue dot next to my name, it doesn't necessarily mean I'm awake. Facebook is weird.

I pointed out that if he stops all conversation the minute I get even the tiniest bit upset, then things like this won't come to light, and nothing will get resolved. He admitted that's true. So now we'll see if there is any progress, beginning tomorrow, with either him waking me up before my alarm would have gone off, because he "didn't know," or with him shutting down and leaving the room at the slightest sign of emotion.