You have value. The universe required that you exist, and you are meant to be here. You have a right to be here. Most likely you've been dealt a bad hand, which does happen . . . and it's unfair. I hope you can find a way to alter your circumstances, so you can have some measure of satisfaction. Without that, life truly can seem like a burden not worth carrying. Some of history's finest persons have felt what you are expressing. On the other hand, really dreadful, horrible people seldom hate themselves.