Sometimes I tend to attract controlling & manipulative people into my life. And bullies too. Maybe part of the problem is that I ended up trusting some of the wrong people to soon. Why are some people so controlling?

How can I avoid being victimized again by these predators aside from not being as open & vulnerable around people to soon?

I thought that some of these people cared about me, but then I started to question them after awhile. They didn’t respect boundaries for example. They wouldn’t take no for an answer.

Even when I said no many times to them. Example, I ended a so called friendship with a toxic friend group because they wouldn’t stop harassing me for a group picture no matter how many times I said no to them. They knew that I hated having my picture taken.

Other people would gaslight me try to manipulate me by saying that people won’t like me if I don’t do this or that. Example, this controlling manipulative former friend told me that her friends in her game group complained about me not wanting to play these hard strategy games.

I hated those games. I never wanted to play them. She kept whining about things, so I played one game. I hated it do much that I stopped after a few minutes. She then complained that I ruined the game, wth?

I think she lied about everything as no one said anything to me or even appeared to be upset at me. She was obsessed with these games & she was fixated on trying to change my personality too.

She claimed that she was trying to help me ‘fit in’ and that she was trying to help me become more ‘condfident’. Now I see it was a way for her to turn me into someone else. Someone I wasn’t.

She also told me that in order for people to like & accept me, that I’d need to become a butt kissing people pleaser like her as people like people who make them feel good about themselves.

She told me that I’m to honest & that I’m rude for being honest as it hurts people’s feelings. She told me that I need other people but they don’t need me.

She kept interrupting me even when I told her to stop numerous times. She kept repeating herself too after I told her to stop. She told me that it’s a quirk & that I was placing ‘restrictions’ on her by setting boundaries.

And she also told me that none of her other friends had a problem with her repeating herself except for me & thar I’m ‘intolerant’ of other people’s quirks.

She then immediately set HER boundaries by refusing to talk about my personal issues as an obvious punishment for setting my boundaries. Then she expected ME to respect HER boundaries, lol.

Another time this former male friend was always running late & he told me that I was ‘busting his chops’ when I mentioned that.

How can I spot & avoid these controlling manipulators more easily from now on before it’s to late?

They’re not always easy to spot. They were good at convincing me that something was wrong with me & that I either needed their help or that I was overreacting to their rude & disrespectful behavior.