Hi @breadandbutter welcome to MSF. I am sorry things are not as expected with your online friend that is also an IRL In Real Life friend too.
It is difficult for me to advise you since I am not sure of the consequences but I would definitely rethink what you share with them and spending time in person. It seems like you wanted a confidant and advocate and they are turning out to be a competitor and possibly a problem.
I like online anonymous sharing like on this site where everyone is anonymous and can avoid offsite contact. It gives one a separation between real life and the most precious things you have to share. Caution is the word that comes to mind. Hope you get the support you are looking for.
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