Quote:
Originally Posted by AzulOscuro
We are taught to avoid showing emotions in public. Especially guys. Our Western society is like that.
Just the opposite to what’s healthy that is, cry when you need it, being sad when you need it, laugh out laugh when you need it.
It’s seen as a weakness sign. I learnt that it was one more thing this stupid society drags us to.
Since I knew mindfulness, I don’t have any problem with accepting emotions and expressing feelings because the moment experiencing at a certain point, requires this human manifestation. I live the moment and if at this moment my tears appears, I’m not holding them back. It’s human nature.
On the contrary, if you fight against it, you have two problems: The feeling you have inside and how to keep it for yourself who is not sane.
Normally, when a person is with me and is passing through a sad moment so they begin to cry, I say: Cry all you need. You deserve it at this moment. Just exactly what a therapist does with the client. and they usually feel relief and less worried about the impression they “should” offer.
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I agree with what you're saying. For one thing, I find that when I want to cry, if I hold it back until it forces its way out, I end up looking and sounding much more uncontrolled and undignified than I would have if I had just let it happen.
It also works the same way with feeling angry. If I deny feeling angry, if I tell myself I shouldn't, because feeling angry is wrong or bad, it festers and ends up a lot worse. If I tell myself in the first place that I'm angry, and it's OK to feel angry even if I don't have a "good enough" reason for it, then I can deal with it a lot better.
You're right. Fighting and denying your emotions just gives you another problem to deal with, on top of the one you already have.