I just got out of the hospital and it's confirmed I have depression and a personality disorder. I'm just happy to have a name to put to my struggles. They put me on medication and it's helping some. But I feel weird being home now. Have to feed myself, remember to take my meds on my own, structure my days by myself, so on and so forth. And there's no magic lorazepam injection if I have a meltdown. They didn't even give me the pills because they don't trust me with benzodiazepines. I'm "as safe as I'll ever be" (as the doctor put it, she thinks I will always and forever be a risk to myself and others so it'd be pointless to keep me in the hospital until I'm "safe").I still feel like a turd. I know it's going to take a lot more than one hospitalization to fix depression and BPD, but at least I'm starting to get real help.