I'm 54 and have lived alone much longer that that and mostly housebound. I have lost contact with real life friends over the pandemic as I was unable to have anyone here and couldn't go to meet anyone in public. My mental health has destroyed relationships. I have autism (dx) and suspect a Dissociative Disorder though that could be from the fact I'm in peri-menopause too and experienced severe paranoia, and fatigue was barely functioning enough to get through a day.


The mood swings meant I changed personality frequently several times a day which is really disorienting. Things have calmed down now but episodes have scared people off so I see no-one except my younger brother. (our parents died many years ago) The problem with social media these days is gossips and everyone knows someone. Years ago I would have been ok to tell neighbours something different and rejoin local society with them knowing nothing of what happened with another friend who didn't live in our area but now it feels like everyone knows.


If I go out in the garden with my dog, neighbours go in! I go miles with my dog into different area's so we might see one person who maybe doesn't know or doesn't realise who I am and smiles and says hello so I feel like I still exist and aren't invisible.


I do have FB under my dogs name I explained we found I had a stroke which had affected my memory maybe hoping for a bit of compassion and forgiveness if they thought I had no memory of what had happened and passed that information back to 'the friend' but no-one replied. ..one did... didn't say sorry to hear you been ill just mentioned their friend had had a stroke in the past. When I see how much support other people get mentioning things like that it makes me feel isolated and unloved. I know its because I don't have the social skills I should have for my age.


The autism affects my ability to instigate things and ask when I need help so consequently I get none and have to find a way to get through things alone. Due to my autism and issues with physical contact and certain noises I've never had a partner or had kids (I'd be unable to cope with screaming babies/kids and unable to control my reaction if they didn't stop). so other than tradespeople and delivery people I rarely see anyone.


personally I feel if I died no-one would care but my poor dog who has never known anything or anyone else and would find kennels or most other people's lives overwhelming..he's a senior dog though probably wouldn't get adopted so I try and keep going for him.


I think it is harder to make new friends as we get older and seen several articles saying that even for people who don't have Autism or other conditions that affect social and communication skills.