I wish you the best of luck with your new job position! I just started a new job after my own personal "hiccup." I'm embarrassed/ashamed but I've been reading the Psalms a lot at the recommendation of my therapist, which have been helping with those feelings. I'm sure you're feeling dread that something bad is going to happen because it's happened before, but remind yourself that these are cognitive distortions. I'm currently working through a Bipolar Workbook and the cognitive distortions that stand out include catastrophizing (imagining worst-case scenario), mental filter (focusing on the negative details of an event or situation without seeing the full picture), jumping to conclusions (reaching negative conclusion using only small amounts of evidence). Not sure if you're experiencing any of those distortions, but if you are, just remind yourself that they are distortions and not reality. This can help keep me from spiraling if I've started going down a rabbit hole...I can send more of the distortion examples if you'd like! Best of luck to you. I'm not sure if you are a believer in God but I know that He works all things for good, even the embarrassing things. Peace.