I believe I was born missing the bit that engages the ambition gear. Always thought I had plenty of time to sort things out. Always thought I'd wake up some morning and everything would make sense and begin falling into place. I spent a long time unconcerned about my path before I noticed I was really having some difficulties with life and direction.

My conscious struggle with mental health started when I finally began noticing that there would be no revelation or change. I always tried to do what was expected. I WANTED to do what was expected. All I wound up with was 30 or so menial jobs in a dozen towns and countless weekends in bars believing I had time.

Looking back at my life now I can see how the illness developed and could even see some reasons why. There was also a genetic factor. My family helped piece some things together when the issues were finally addressed. I had been having certain difficulties ever since I was a child but they didn't begin to truly cripple me until much later.

Pardon that ramble. The topic struck me. I hope you're doing well Muddy. Participating in therapy is for sure a good thing.