so i hate my looks i dont like going out because of it i hate shopping because im fat and big. Ive had problems with my weight and looks because the first time someone called me fat was my DAD he called me fat when i was 5 and said ill always be fat and never lose weight! i always think about that time and when i eat and shop and go outside with out a sweat shirt i think of that and what people think of me!! i hide behind my sweatshirts so no one will judge me but through out my life ive always been judge because ive been fat! and it sucks cause im stuck in this set of mind where becuase of my weight and looks i dont get to do this i would love to do like go swimming, take my shirt off, show my bf me , go to the beach, go to the mall, even go to the gym! As well me being so fat and big it also made me not get a gf so i tired asking guys and alot of them again like the girls turned me down beacause i was fat all they liked was my personalitly but couldnt be seem with a fat boy! now im in a wonderful realtionship with a guy i love so much( long distance realttionship, i live in California while he lives in Arkansas) i would do anything for him and he loves be for my looks now but i keep thinking why?? im so fat, big, and ugly why does he still want to be with me why does he want to have sex with me? i just dont want to be hurt like before!

any feedback would be so nice and thanks for taking time to read this you probably think i need attention but i dont i hate getting attention! but comments would be lovely!