thanks. he said... well... he sent an email... something about there being a risk in loving... that he hoped it was worth it(?)

that was good. i think he is getting the hang of this email business...

he hoped love was worth it... he hoped he was worth my love... nice ambiguity... a question... something for me to think about... perhaps... does email count as talking? (?) perhaps... but i thought about it anyway...

he even had the courtesy not to mention it in todays session. we talked about my ex... i'm still struggling a little with that... up and down over it... hardest thing was that i really wanted for us to be able to be friends. you know, my being mature about this and all... but i've realized that that isn't terribly psychologically plausible... i need to have boundaries around him now so that i can move on from him. he has made it clear that he isn't prepared to commit to me so i need to accept that and move on.

i wish... i could save my heart for someone who feels that way about me (for someone who is prepared to commit to being with me and to making things work and to sticking around when times get tough and doing the necessary work so that we can have a healthy relationship). i wish i could save my heart for that... that i didn't love these men who are not in the position to reciprocate. i wish that i didn't love them. caring about them is okay... but i wish that i didn't give them the power to affect me so...

where is my mute button? why didn't i get born with a mute? just to tone things down a little...